I like to look back through journals every year around my birthday, just to see where I have been. As I looked back this time over the past several years I saw that there were a lot of entries about wanting to be better, feeling unworthy, trying to figure out how to overcome weaknesses and get better at certain things. While wanting to be better and improve isn’t bad in itself, it was bad because I thought my happiness should be conditional on being better. I was withholding love and acceptance from myself and postponing joy until I could be perfect. I have decided to do things differently from now on.
See what my birthday gift to myself is this year (and peek at what my house really looks like, eek!):