This blog is for me. But it is also for others. I want to share the principles I’ve been learning and their liberating power with other Moms who may benefit.
So what kind of Moms am I writing to? Well, I’m not writing to every mom. Not everyone needs the things I am sharing – some may even need a push in the opposite direction, such as those who spend so much time on work and hobbies that they need a nudge to come home and give more of themselves to their children. There are plenty of wonderful blogs out there encouraging moms to come home to their children, teach them, be with them, and embrace that great gift and responsibility. I love that topic too, and I might touch on that occasionally, but that’s not the main focus of this blog.
I’m writing to Moms who are where I have been, who already tend to give all of themselves to their families but never stop to fill their buckets, so they find themselves running out of energy, inspiration, and patience. Moms who love everyone but themselves, who nurture their kids but not their own hearts, who love their families and want to love their lives and do the right things, but they feel unfulfilled and not good enough no matter how much they give. Some people call it the Mommy Martyr syndrome. I’m not sure it’s always being a martyr, but whatever you call it, it is painful and it hurts the whole family.
When mommy ain’t happy, nobody’s happy, as the old saying goes. I want to help families by helping moms become the Joyful, intentional mothers they always wanted to be. I’ve found that this is not just about doing more or learning better parenting methods, although some of those things can help. For me, it starts with having a good relationship with myself and God. From there, I can make conscious choices for my family for the right reasons, not out of guilt, fear, or trying to be good enough. I can do what I do because of LOVE.
There is nothing that can take a mother’s place. A mother’s calling is the most influential and demanding one there is. Which is why it is so important that moms nurture, love, and develop themselves completely and become all they can be. It’s about tapping into our full potential, our full capacity for joy and learning, and bringing all those gifts to the table in our families, especially, and to everyone else we touch. Mothers can still dream big, in fact we should have the biggest dreams of all! That doesn’t mean leaving our children to other people to raise. It doesn’t mean every Mom should write a book or be on stage or start a business (though some moms might feel called to do that!) It means being what it is in our hearts to be and not playing small. Don’t let fear drive your actions. Too often we automatically say, ‘I can’t, because I’m a mom.’ We look at limitations instead of possibilities. Bring your family along, let them see you growing, setting goals, and accomplishing them. That’s a powerful example for them to follow.
If you have decided not to follow a dream because you honestly feel it is wrong for you and your family, by all means, trust your inspiration. But by the same token, don’t assume that just because you are a Mom that you aren’t allowed to dream and put those dreams into action, especially if you are so inspired and you feel divine approval. Yes, keep a balance, yes, keep priorities straight, yes, give your kids both quality and quantity of time. But also give yourself some time and love, and care for the person inside the mother.
My message is for you if you already give your all to your family and love them, and just want to feel more joyful and powerful in your life. One of the greatest gifts you can give your family is a happy mom, a mom who smiles, feels free, and loves her life.
A favorite quote says, ‘If you love the life you live, you will live a life of LOVE!’ That’s what it’s all about – loving life so we have more love to give.
Empowering action: Ask yourself: What would have to change for you to love your life more? Make a plan to start changing that thing. Make room for joy in your life.