I was thinking today about the way most women treat themselves and the way I’ve treated myself often in the past. Much of our internal dialogue is unkind. ‘Do this, do that, oh I’ve got to do better at this, I can’t believe I did that again, hurry up, etc, etc.’ How would our friends feel if we talked to them the way we talk to ourselves? How long would they stick around if we never listened to their feelings or showed any regard for them and their desires, dreams, thoughts, and hopes? If we only gave them lists of things to do, they would soon begin to feel USED. Yet we do that to ourselves all the time. No wonder we feel so worn and unappreciated. We may think it is others that are unappreciative of us, who don’t care for us like we deserve or take our feelings for granted. But we are often the worst offenders and we don’t teach our families to value us because we do not value ourselves.
Consider what might change in your life if you were to stop demanding things of yourself and just sit with yourself for a minute, like you would with a friend. Ask yourself how you are feeling. Ask yourself what you enjoy, what you love, what hurts, what you need. Really listen and offer yourself some compassion and validation. Forgive yourself for not being perfect. You would forgive a friend. Be a friend to yourself.
When you begin to have a good relationship with your self then a lot of other things begin to shift, too. It becomes easier and more fun to do those things on your list. When you do those things out of love rather than fear of falling short they become more fun and easy. It makes you want to do more of them. And it puts power and effectiveness behind all you do that wasn’t there before.
As you realize how precious and worthy of love you already are, independent of any checklist, you will naturally begin to act in accordance with the goodness in you. You will accomplish wonders and it won’t be because you gritted your teeth and forced yourself to do it – it will be a joyful offering you give out of love and out of the depths of who you really are. It will be something you choose rather than ‘have to’ do. Fear will have no place in it.
“For God hath not given us a spirit of fear, but of Love and of Power, and of a Sound Mind.” 2nd Timothy 1:7
Empowering Action: Take a moment to sit with yourself in a quiet place and really get to know yourself. Write down the thoughts and feelings that come to you. Offer kindness to yourself. Bonus: I am sending out a journaling exercise to all the people who have subscribed to Moms Empowered to help you shift your ‘To Do’ list into actions based on love and reflect who you really are in all you do, getting rid of extra baggage. If you didn’t receive it and would like it, leave me a comment or drop me an email, I would love to send you a link!